HI all sorry. I just got connected with this world again. I am in college yay.

well it is christmas and it was pretty good actually. I have no boyfriend now but that is changing at least im trying to cahnge it. It is just a little update. my family hates my friends because they "change me" whatever thats what romeo does not my friends . I guess i have to act really good or they are going to send me to an all girls school. Doesnt that sound like fun. Well i need sanity so yeah

Well i am so frickin happy right now. I have a boyfriend and it was three weeks as of yesterday. We ended up going to a Halloween party at my friends house, nothing big just a couple of people. Well it seemed that each person was in a relationship except for the host. Enough said I had a really fun time in he host loft with my boyfriend, on the floor. Well so did Hobbit and Squigy as well as Prange ans my lesbian lover. LOL. So yeah I love my boyfriend and he loves me and he most likely wont be moving till the summer and his b-day is friday and I get to hang out with him and yeah so I'm in love. WWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOO.

I know i am going to sound depressed right now but if you know me you know I am the last person to be. So here it goes.
I feel so alone and cold lately. I know i have many friends and all that would do anything for me but I m just not happy. The one person I want to be with even just as friends I am not allowed to be with but I love him. I fell that he is the only one who makes me happy lately. I just so want to be loved by someone. To be able to be held by them for undetermined amounts of time and yet feel completly safe in thier arms. To feel such a way that I never want to leave his grasp. To be loved. Oh a fickle thing love is for no man could ever love one such as me. I am not good enough for them.